We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate.

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli

Profession: Comedian
Nationality: American

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I gained weight, and that started a 32-year struggle with weight and exercise and body image problems.

I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I'd learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels.

None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes.

I usually get so warned when I go to Detroit, like, 'Oh my God, don't go to this section, don't go to that section.' I've never had any issues in Detroit. I love that there's enough of a racial mix of people to make fun of. I've always had a good time there.

When you're dealing with a sick person, you're not important at all. You're just a nobody.

I really think the biggest honor, as a comic, is to get roasted by either the Friars Club or the Comedy Central or someone like that. Because it really shows, you know, that you've arrived.

Nobody escapes during Lisa Lampanelli's show.

I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever.

I'm always proud of what I've done and what I continue to do.

Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts.

Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me.

Andy Dick is so gay, he thinks Margaret Cho is funny.

People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and each has a story to tell. These people should be helped, embraced, and not dismissed. We need to open our hearts and our minds to them, and we just may learn we're pretty much all the same.

I've never wanted to be a person where somebody would be like, 'I like her; she's okay.' Love or hate is fine, because it sells tickets.