What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that.

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli

Profession: Comedian
Nationality: American

Some suggestions for you :

Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the issue, the better.

I order food like a normal human being. If I'm out to lunch, I'm going to order three courses like everybody else. I'm not going to feel like some kind of freak.

I looked around and couldn't believe no one has written a show about women and eating. It's the biggest issue women have.

I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.

I honestly feel like 99 percent of people have some kind of self-hate about their looks, and if I can joke about mine, maybe they can feel better about theirs.

I thought I had to work at someplace everybody's heard of. It was never, 'I'm interested in such and such. I want to work in such and such magazine.' It was like, 'Oh, my G-d, I really need to work for somebody so people will think I'm OK.' So I got a job at 'Popular Mechanics'.

I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I've been doing comedy for twenty years.

I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain.

The more conservative you dress, the more you can get away with.

Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it's rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic. Except for maybe Whitney Cummings, but that's about it. That's why she's special: because she can combine it.

Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you have to stay current.

When I say I'm going gangster, I'm working really hard at something.

Comedy is like music - there are genres and styles for every taste. Katy Perry is there for people who like frothy pop music. Metallica is there for people who like head-banging metal. And Susan Boyle is there for... well, I don't who the hell is listening to that freak of nature, but that's not the point. In art, there's something for everybody.

I heard Cher say, 'I answer to two people: Myself and God.' I say, 'I only answer to me. I'm not sure I appreciate God's opinion.'