Nobody escapes during Lisa Lampanelli's show.

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli

Profession: Comedian
Nationality: American

Some suggestions for you :

I've gone through literally over 30 years of struggle with weight and food and body image... and I'm like, 'Wait a minute.'

If Flavor Flav was any smaller and darker, Brad and Angelina would try to adopt him.

When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about - that I love or hate - because the audience likes to see passion. The stuff I rant and rave about stems from a place that really pisses me off.

None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes.

Andy Dick is so gay, he thinks Margaret Cho is funny.

Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts.

I'm not gonna ruin my reputation with the blacks no more.

Don't laugh at a hair joke, Trump.

I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have a breakdown.

You have to really be on your own side.

Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire.

I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you're that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you're tired and you don't have patience for it, you definitely snap.

Howard Stern gave me the best advice about Twitter and the N word. He said maybe onstage people get the intention behind the joke, but a tweet is 140 characters or less, and maybe that's why people overreact. I don't need to rustle any more feathers and lose any investors.

With Don Rickles and me, we're just telling the truth. We're not terrific people, and we're not gonna win the beauty contest. We're just average Joes. We're just being who we are, and I think people like that.