It's simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

Some suggestions for you :

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

Our parents set the moral tone of the family. They expected more of some of us and less of others, but never less than they thought we were capable of.

The difference between keeping things clean and keeping kids clean was that things just sat still and waited for the dirt to collect. We kids were carriers. We ran a pickup and delivery service.

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.