I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

Some suggestions for you :

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isnt permanent.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

Life with Mary was like being in a telephone booth with an open umbrella-no matter which way you turned you got it in the eye.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck-if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left.