Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck-if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left.

Some suggestions for you :

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

The average healthy well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.