You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Some suggestions for you :

Brothers are children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Our parents set the moral tone of the family. They expected more of some of us and less of others, but never less than they thought we were capable of.

The difference between keeping things clean and keeping kids clean was that things just sat still and waited for the dirt to collect. We kids were carriers. We ran a pickup and delivery service.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only way most of us got through.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.