If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Some suggestions for you :

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only way most of us got through.

The difference between keeping things clean and keeping kids clean was that things just sat still and waited for the dirt to collect. We kids were carriers. We ran a pickup and delivery service.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

Our parents set the moral tone of the family. They expected more of some of us and less of others, but never less than they thought we were capable of.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.