Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

Some suggestions for you :

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

The average healthy well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.