Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

Some suggestions for you :

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

My father used to call me the laughing hyena.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.