He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

Some suggestions for you :

Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise.

Work! work! and God will work with us!

The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking.

But it's awluz jis' so; people dat's sot, stays sot; dey won't look into noth'n'en fine it out f'r deyselves, en when you fine it out en tell um 'bout it, dey doan' b'lieve you.

It ain't no use to try to learn you nothing, Huck.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

I could never plan a thing and get it to come out the way I planned it. It came out some other way--some way I had not counted upon.

Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself.

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

That kind of so-called housekeeping where they have six Bibles and no cork-screw.

The truth hurts, but silence kills.