It was with much satisfaction that I recognized the wisdom of having told this candid gentleman, in the beginning, that my name was Smith.

Some suggestions for you :

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.

Yes, I am of old family, and not illiterate. I am a fossil." "A which?" "Fossil. The first horses were fossils. They date back two million years.

It was a dreadful thing to see. Humans beings can be awful cruel to one another.

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness.

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in WASTING it on them.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

There are more chickens than a man can know in this world, but an unprovoked kindness is the rarest of birds.

It hadn't ever come home to me before, what this thing was that I was doing.