You cannot surprise an individual more than twice with the same marvel.

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

Profession: Author
Nationality: American

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I've had a very difficult life. Fortunately, most of it didn't happen.

The first time the Deity came down to earth, he brought life and death; when he came the second time, he brought hell.

Now he found out a new thing—namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. …Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

This ain't no thirty-seven year job, this is a thirty-eight year job, Tom Sawyer.

When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

You can't put too much spin on a miracle.

So singularly clear was the water, that where it was only twenty or thirty feet deep the bottom was so perfectly distinct that the boat seemed floating in the air!

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

It's as mild as goose-milk.