Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Some suggestions for you :

At present, intelligent people do not have their children vaccinated, nor does the law now compel them to. The result is not, as the Jennerians prophesied, the extermination of the human race by smallpox; on the contrary, more people are now killed by vaccination than by smallpox.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

There is the eternal war between those who are in the world for what they can get out of it... and those who are in the world to make it a better place for everybody to live in.

People don't have their virtues and vices in sets: they have them anyhow: all mixed.

Every man who records his illusions is providing data for the genuinely scientific psychology which the world still waits for.

Youth is wasted on the young.

What we want to see is the child in pursuit of the knowledge not the knowledge in pursuit of the child.

If you begin by sacrificing yourself to those you love, you will end by hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself.

Weak people want to marry strong people who do not frighten them too much; and this often leads them to make the mistake we describe metaphorically as biting off more than they can chew.

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability.

Thus, I blush to add, you can not be a philosopher and a good man, though you may be a philosopher and a great one.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts.