An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.