Your depression is connected to your insolence and refusal to praise.
What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.
There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don't you?
Look for the answer inside your question.
I once had a thousand desires. But in my one desire to know you, all else melted away.