Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Do you know why it is that when a rancher fucks a sheep he does it at the edge of a cliff? It's so the sheep will push back.