I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?
Never approach a crying woman entering a sports bar carrying a harpoon gun.
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette?