One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Every puppy should have a boy.
I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby...
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.