She's as funny as a toothache.
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.