Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it...
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart's beat, and if your hearts beat anything but diamonds and clubs, it's because your partner is cheating, or your wife.
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.
I have had a wonderful time but this wasn't it.
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.