No man ever quite believes in any other man. One may believe in an idea absolutely, but not in a man.
Love is the mistaken belief that one woman differs from another.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The American moron's mind simply does not run in that direction; he wants to keep his Ford, even at the cost of losing the Bill of Rights.
Imagine the Creator as a stand up commedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
The average newspaper, especially of the better sort, has the intelligence of a hillbilly evangelist, the courage of a rat, the fairness of a prohibitionist boob-jumper, the information of a high school janitor, the taste of a designer of celluloid valentines, and the honor of a police-station lawyer.