The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.
Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.