My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.