Scientists make these deductions by examining a rat, or your landlord who won't cut the rent, and what do they find? Asparagus.
You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!
He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously and deeply and that's about as good an epitaph as anyone can have.
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.