A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.