To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.

Quitting smoking is easy Ive done it hundreds of times.