We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!