Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.