Never trust a man who doesn't drink.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.