I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.

All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.