Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

There is reinforcement in such familiar back-formations as Chinee from Chinese, Portugee from Portuguese.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

After all all he did was string together a lot of old well-known quotations.

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.

During many a single week, I daresay, more money is spent in New York upon useless and evil things than would suffice to run the kingdom of Denmark for a year.

Life may not be exactly pleasant, but it is at least not dull. Heave yourself into Hell today, and you may miss, tomorrow or next day, another Scopes trial, or another War to End War, or perchance a rich and buxom widow with all her first husband's clothes. There are always more Hardings hatching. I advocate hanging on as long as possible.

Yet the same thing happens to the notions of morality. They are devised, at the start, as measures of expediency, and then given divine sanction in order to lend them authority.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.