The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Profession: Journalist
Nationality: American

Some suggestions for you :

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid.

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.