Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Some suggestions for you :
Christ: I dislike him very much. Still, I can stand him. What I cannot stand is the wretched band of people whose profession is to hoodwink us about him.
The healthy stomach is nothing if it is not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions.
To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
Arguments are like fire-arms which a man may keep at home but should not carry about with him.
A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.
A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it.
If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him.
Women can stand a beating except when it is with their own weapons.
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
Money is the last enemy that shall never be subdued. While there is flesh there is money or the want of money, but money is always on the brain so long as there is a brain in reasonable order.