The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Some suggestions for you :

Statistician A man who believes figures dont lie but admits that under analysis some of them wont stand up either.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

Walking isnt a lost art - one must by some means get to the garage.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration, and inspiration.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.