In the first place, God made idiots. T.. Mark Twain

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Funny Education

Mark Twain

Profession: Author
Nationality: American

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All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid; the vast limits of their knowledge.

Well, it rained mortar and masonry the rest of the week. This was the report; but probably the facts would have modified it.

Why shouldn't we be honest and honorable, and lie every time we get a chance? That is to say, why shouldn't we be consistent, and either lie all the time or not at all?

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

What God wills, will happen; thou canst not hurry it, thou canst not alter it; therefore wait; and be patient.

I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

Over middle of mantel, engraving—Washington Crossing the Delaware; on the wall by the door, copy of it done in thunder-and-lightning crewels by one of the young ladies—work of art which would have made Washington hesitate about crossing, if he could have foreseen what advantage was going to be taken of it.

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

Not long after, as Tom, all undressed for bed, was surveying his drenched garments by the light of.

Say—what is dead cats good for, Huck?" "Good for? Cure warts with.

A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.

Life should begin with age and it's privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and it's capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.

Tom's whole being applauded this idea. It was deep, and dark, and awful; the hour, the circumstances, the surroundings, were in keeping with it.

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