Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.

Some suggestions for you :

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn't take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I get a standing ovation jaust standing.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.