Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

Some suggestions for you :

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like… love!

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out of American dream?

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

Meeting Aliens Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.