My parents never really had that much money, so I kind of live in the same world that they do.

Margaret Cho

Margaret Cho

Profession: Comedian
Nationality: American

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I mean, what's great about touring is that's what you do. You're in a constant state of motion and then you stop to do a show and you move onto the next city. All you have to do is do the show. That's the only responsibility that you have.

I think reality television is such a special talent.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

To me, marriage is really important and what we build families on. That's why gay marriage is really important.

Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.

My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more than anything. They're tiny and fragile and impressionable - and someone else's! As much as I hate borrowing stuff, that is how much I hate holding other people's babies. It's too much responsibility.

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

I was raised to be self-conscious about weight. Then as I got older and started doing television, it became a career issue, like, 'You have to lose weight or you'll lose that job.'

I will never stop complaining.

I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing comedy, I love touring, and I think I would do everything for free.

My former bullies pay extra to come backstage and meet me after shows, and I pretend not to know them in front of their friends. It is the most divine pleasure to exact the revenge of the brutalized child that resides within.

Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.

You don't become a Republican until you lose all your baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and then become angry and bitter.

I'm always surprised when I get recognized.