Always be nice to people on the way up because youll meet the same people on the way down.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Failure has gone to his head.

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasnt been asleep.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

The first hundred years are the hardest.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

When you take stuff from one writer its plagiarism but when you take it from many writers its research.

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

God help those who do not help themselves.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey you.

You sparkle with larceny.

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

Art is science made clear.

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.