Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
Ain't fit for man nor beast.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
I must have a drink of breakfast.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
Come my flocks, my flower. I have some very definite pear-shaped ideas I'd like to discuss with thee.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Never give a sucker an even break.