I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

Even when I'm sitting up in this glass castle, I still got my street soldiers telling me what's happening.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

On 'Saturday Night Live,' I never really wrote. You know, I would just - I would let the writers cast me into the show. So my strength - and I put all my energies into performance. I just couldn't deal with the rejection, you know, getting your sketches cut, and it was hard for me.

I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.

Welcome to post-racial America. I'm the face of post-racial America.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that curiosity might kill cats, but it doesn't kill people.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.

I've played outrageous characters my whole career.

White women love me 'cause of my edge. And I love white women.

If she's not spoken for, and you come at her correctly, like a man, she'll get with you.

A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

I don't believe in storks. I know they don't deliver babies; they deliver pickles.

People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive.

I love working with Alec Baldwin. He's one of the five greatest actors ever to live.

It's like going to the zoo when you come to my house. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider.

Parents should support and love their kids no matter what.

I don't see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius.

Who's coming with me? I don't know where I'm going, but who's coming with me?

No one set that I ever do is the same. I mean, if I go to a comedy club, and I perform three sets, all three sets are different because anything can happen in between sets.

I'm art. You're art. We are God's greatest works, simple as that.

Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.

I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.

When you see me on the street, act like you know me.

Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.

I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no.

I had a great time working on 'Saturday Night Live.' It was one of the important times in my life.

I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it's not about what you look like or what you do; it's about who you are inside.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

To me, politics is a pile of tricks.

I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host 'Saturday Night Live.'

I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they're out, they're ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them.

I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody's supposed to be happy in this world, man.

Working with Bruce Willis makes my career authentic. I may not get an Oscar, but I worked with Bruce Willis. That matters more to me.

I'm a human being. I feel all emotions. I'm not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I'm sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down.

My heart is committed to giving everyone the same rights that I deserve for myself.

'Saturday Night Live' is live television. Nothing can compare to that.

There aren't a lot of guys out there keeping it real. Everybody's been branded. Everybody's been bought and sold.

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn't have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence.

Rock bottom for some people is death. Some people never learn from their mistakes. They don't learn from other people's mistakes.

There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days.

I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy - laughter is universal, and I don't differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There's no reason why one person can't relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another.