That moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive.
When I was done reading the poem, everyone was quiet. A very sad quiet. But the amazing thing was that it wasn't a bad sad at all. It was just something that made everyone look around at each other and know that they were there.
She thanked me for not trying to make what I did seem less by offering a lot of excuses.
I mean it's not like in the movies where girls like assholes or anything like that. It's not that easy. They just like somebody that can give them a purpose.
I just reminded myself that she didn't say it mean. She wasn't making fun of me. She wasn't comparing. Or criticizing.
I think its bad when the most honest way a boy can look at a girl is through a camera.
Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense.
And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
Everyone is comparing everyone with everyone.
And I just let him. Because that's what friends are for.
Then the movie started. It was in a foreign language and had subtitles, which was fun because I had never read a movie before.
You can't just sit their and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't.
I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.
I think they were afraid that some of us would try to kill ourselves or something because they looked very tense and one of them kept touching his beard.
I don't want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can't think again. Not ever again.
And then he says something like this ... "I would die for you. But I won't live for you." Something like that. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people.
It would be very nice to have a friend again. I would like that even more than a date.
It was the look on her face when she said it. And how much she meant it. It suddenly made everything seem like it really was. I felt terrible. Just terrible.
You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things.
Patrick used to be popular, until Sam bought him some good music.
I wanted the angel to come down and show us how Uncle Billy's life had meaning. Then, I think I'd feel better.
As people get older, we all know, you get married and you have a child and that becomes your family, but when you're 16 years old, especially, your family is your friends.
I don't want to be somebody's crush. If someone likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don't like, I'll tell them.
Charlie, you're one of the most gifted people I've ever known. And I don't mean in terms of my other students. I mean in terms of anyone I've ever met.
Sam screamed the fun scream, and there it was. Downtown lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. and in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
And later that night to be with my family at dinnertime and have things just be like they always were. That was the amazing part. Things just keep going. We didn't talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough.
And I just thought how great it was to have friends and a family.
It takes seven years to digest gum.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I know other people have it a lot worse. I do know that, but it's crashing in anyway...
I wold describe it to you, but I think it's the kind of thing where you have to be there or at least know the people. But then again, maybe you knew the same people when you went to your high school dances, if you know what I mean.
In other words, there was no pain. There was no pain anymore.
I don't remember where we were walking to or where we were walking from. I don't even remember the season. I just remember walking between them and feeling for the first time that I belonged somewhere.
I wish I could stop being in love with Sam. I really do.
Sam has brown hair and very, very pretty green eyes. The kind of green that doesn't make a big deal about itself.
Sam dropped me off. When she was too far away to see me, I started to cry again. Because she was my friend again. And that was enough for me.
It's strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book. Also, when I write letters, I spend the next two days thinking about what I figured out in my letters.
I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love.
But because things change. And friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody.
My dad and my brother and my cousins carry him out to the car of the person who is least angry at him.
If it meant that I would never get to think of you that way, as long as you were happy, it was okay.
The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. They had become stories. Nobody brought up the bad names or the bad times. And nobody felt sad as long as we could postpone tomorrow with more nostalgia.
What about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if they need the arms?
You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things.
The outside lights were on, and it was snowing, and it looked like magic. Like we were somewhere else. Like we were someplace better.
No more pencils/no more books/no more teachers' dirty looks/when the teacher rings the bell/drop your books and run like hell.
And I could feel what he felt on the night when he realize that if he didn't leave, it would never be his life. It would be theirs.
He's a wallflower. You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.
The two families really don't like each other, except for all us younger cousins because we don't know any better.
