I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.

Normal is the average of deviance.

The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.

Life's too short to try and understand cold-blooded creatures.

All creatures tread across the rubble of ruined civilizations. The trick is to keep moving. No animal ever goes about dispensing shallow compassion.

No animal on the face of the earth could conceive of taxation. You and I work roughly six months a year to pay our local, state and federal taxes. If nothing else, this should convince you that animals are smarter than people.

Spending is worse than pain, she thought; it lasts longer.

I'm not an addictive personality, I just like getting high, that's all.

If you like my novels, I commend your good taste.

The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.

I hope there is a special hell for people who mistreat animals.

Morals are private. Decency is public.

What love had been given her she wished to give to others. Most times they didn't much want it but hounds, horses, cats, and dogs did and they were a gift from the gods, too.

That's animals, same thing doesn't happen to people does it? That's gonna happen to me someday, too? No, not me. I ain't dying. I don't care what they say, I ain't dying. I'm not lying on my back under the ground in everlasting darkness. Not me. I'm not closing my eyes. If I close my eyes, I might not open them.

My tombstone is going to say: 'Born: Yes. Died: Yes.

Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to.

No one is ever safe. So why not live as much as you can?

While industry and cars cause pollution, removing trees exacerbates the problem.

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.

There hasn't been a day in my life since I started Latin in ninth grade that I haven't benefited by the lives of the ancients.

I think love is the wild card of existence. Don't rule it out. Old as we are, it may still get thrown on the table.

Not until my middle thirties did I consider myself a novelist.

I believe you are your work. Don't trade the stuff of your life, time, for nothing more than dollars. That's a rotten bargain.

When God made man she was practicing.

Sorrow is how we learn to love. Your heart isn't breaking. It hurts because it's getting larger. The larger it gets, the more love it holds.

Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash.

My voice rings down through thousands of years to coil around your body and give you strength, you who have wept in direct sunlight, who have hungered in invisible chains, tremble to the cadence of my legacy: An army of lovers shall not fail.

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

I mean, what do people talk about when they're married?" "Their kids, I guess." "Maybe that's all they have in common.

All's well here. Hope your life is full of mice, moles, voles, butterflies, and the occasional inattentive bird. In Catitude, Sneaky Pie.

He thought how strange life was. The certainties vanish. What takes their place is resourcefulness and thanking God for life.

A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.

I began to wonder if girls could marry girls, because I was sure I wanted to marry Leota and look in her green eyes forever. But I would only marry her if I didn't have to do the housework. I was certain of that. But if Leota really didn't want to do it either, I guessed I'd do it. I'd do anything for Leota.

Anyway, how did I know the president was for real? I never saw him, just pictures in the paper and they can make those up. How do you know someone is real if you don't see him?

Intuition is a suspension of logic due to impatience.

Whoever heard of a neurotic frog? Where do humans get off thinking they're the pinnacle of evolution?

Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define

I have no idea what will come next in my writing life or life in general. I like not knowing, but I know what I want. That doesn't mean it will happen, but I'll give it my best try.

Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there.

Pornography exists for the lonesome, the ugly, the fearful - it's made for the losers.

Given that 80 percent plus of the U.S. population lives in cities and suburbs, the connection with nature is fading to the detriment of all living creatures.

Humans are fundamentally irrational. They use what precious rationality they have justifying their irrational behavior. A.

As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls.

You'll see. You think you can do what boys do but you're going to be a nurse, no two ways about it. It doesn't matter about brains, brains don't count. What counts is whether you're a boy or a girl.

He tried to drown his troubles but they knew how to swim.

Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

I don't care whether they like me or not. Everybody's stupid, that's what I think. I care if I like me, that's what I truly care about.