Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved.

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.

Pavarotti is not vain, but conscious of being unique.

By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door.

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.

The truth is an ambition which is beyond us.

I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer.

I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day.

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.

Men think about women. Women think about what men think about them.

At the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords we're all Generals. Only some of us never grow out of it.

Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them.

Courage is often lack of insight, whereas cowardice in many cases is based on good information.

Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus.

The French and the British are such good enemies that they can't resist being friends.

It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.

Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.

Once we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our mind, our duty is to furnish it well.

It is youth that has discovered love as a weapon.

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.

People who reach the top of the tree are only those who haven't got the qualifications to detain them at the bottom.

Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.

In America through pressure of conformity there is freedom of choice but nothing to choose from.

Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night.

A diplomat these days is nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.

Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.

Intelligent or not, we all make mistakes and perhaps the intelligent mistakes are the worst, because so much careful thought has gone into them.

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilised music in the world.

The point of living and of being an optimist is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come.

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.

The social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.

I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.

I have three daughters and I find as a result I played King Lear almost without rehearsal.

Critics search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.

The habit of religion is oppressive, an easy way out of thought.

If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue.

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy.