If you ask me to play myself, I will not know what to do. I do not know who or what I am.
I feel ghostly unreal until I become somebody else again on the screen.
To see me as a person on screen would be one of the dullest experiences you could ever wish to experience.
Conversation like television set on honeymoon... unnecessary.
There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me but I had it surgically removed.
Women are more difficult to handle than men. It's their minds.
There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.
I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working.