The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them.

I'm all amazed, befuddled, and beflustered!

Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive.

We ought to punish pitilessly that shameful pretence of friendly intercourse. I like a man to be a man, and to show on all occasions the bottom of his heart in his discourse. Let that be the thing to speak, and never let our feelings be beneath vain compliments.

If you make yourself understood, you're always speaking well.

People of quality know everything without ever having learned anything.

There's nothing quite like tobacco: it's the passion of decent folk, and whoever lives without tobacco doesn't deserve to live.

The world will not alter for all your meddling.

Of all follies there is none greater than wanting to make the world a better place.

One ought to examine himself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.

He who follows his lessons tastes a profound peace, and looks upon everybody as a bunch of manure.

My claims were justified in all men's sight; I put my trust in equity and right; Yet, to my horror and the world's disgrace, Justice is mocked, and I have lost my case! A scoundrel whose dishonesty is notorious Emerges from another lie victorious!

We'll let time knit these gentle ties between us.

If everyone were clothed with integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-nigh useless.

Every good act is charity. A man's true wealth hereafter is the good that he does in this world to his fellows.

I have the knack of easing scruples.

Displaying vice to the mockery of men deals it a great blow. Men put up with admonition but are loath to be mocked. One might be willing to be wicked; one cannot bear to appear foolish.

Good sense avoids all extremes, and requires us to be soberly rational. This unbending and virtuous stiffness of ancient times shocks too much the ordinary customs of our own; it requires too great perfection from us mortals; we must yield to the times without being too stubborn; it is the height of folly to busy ourselves in correcting the world.

Perfect reason flees all extremity, and leads one to be wise with sobriety.

I feed on good soup, not beautiful language.

Love is often the fruit of marriage.

Unreasonable haste is the direct road to error.

No matter what Aristotle and the Philosophers say, nothing is equal to tobacco; it's the passion of the well-bred, and he who lives without tobacco lives a life not worth living.

The heart can do anything.

We must eat to live, and not live to eat.

One ought to look a good deal at oneself before thinking of condemning others.

It is a fine seasoning for joy to think of those we love.

To find yourself jilted is a blow to your pride. Do your best to forget it and if you dont succeed at least pretend to.

Reason is not what decides love.

Here in the world, each human frailty Provides occasion for philosophy, And that is virtue's noblest exercise.

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.

It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores.

If the King had given me for my own Paris, his citadel, And I for that must leave alone Her whom I love so well, I'd say then to the Crown, Take back your glittering town; My darling is more fair, I swear, My darling is more fair.

We die only once, and for such a long time.

I have the fault of being a little more sincere than is proper.

It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right.

I find that it is the best trade of all; for, whether we manage well or ill, we are paid just the same.

You are my peace, my solace, my salvation.

One dies only once and then for such a long time.

No, you shall be, my faith! Tartuffified.

To live without loving is not really to live.

If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble.

The absence of the beloved, short though it may last, always lasts too long.

Don't appear so scholarly, pray. Humanize your talk, and speak to be understood.

Eat to live, don't live to eat.

I live on good soup, not on fine words.

Esteem must be founded on preference: to hold everyone in high esteem is to esteem nothing.

Writing is a little bit like prostitution. First you do it for love. Then you do it for a few friends. Then you do it for money.