Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
It aint what folks know thats the problem its what they know that aint so.
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog thats lost - he smells everybody he meets and wags himself all over.
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.