Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.
My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.
Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.
I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.
I would hate to meet myself at 15.
When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
I feel non-stop Brit shame!