Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.

I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.

My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.

I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.

My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.

I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.

Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people.

Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.

I would hate to meet myself at 15.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.

Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.

It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.

I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.

You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.

I feel non-stop Brit shame!

I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy. And I guess I've always liked to channel some kind of personal element to that.

I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen.

I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.

The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.

Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can.

I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.

As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant.

Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.

Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.

People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing.

People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.

There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.

I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think.

I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.

It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them.

Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.

I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would.

We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across the Channel, but we didn't want anything to do with it.

I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show,' I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson. Having a British accent definitely gave me a sonic leg up on that because there is a faux authority to the British accent in and of itself.

There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that.

I find it hard in my general life to think further than the week ahead.

People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard.

If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences.

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.