All the guys that entered The Groundlings, like Will Ferrell, already had incredible confidence, but I watched shut down women that didn't even have a personality completely become different human beings because of the training.

I don't think men really fall in love with the outspoken girl.

Our secret desire as women is to have a guy who falls madly in love with us even though we're incredibly opinionated or we're not the sort of normal, polite, poised woman.

I'm so lucky I got a career in my 30s because these young girls aren't allowed to have their 20s. It's all being documented.

If things don't work out with one person, there's many other people to replace you with online.

It was always the cliche of men leaving their wives for younger women. The playing field is sort of even now. Women make their own salaries. They can do the exact same thing and can have a younger man.

It's really hard for me to meet someone. I don't want to date actors. Been there, done that. Only one actor per household, please.

It's a great compliment when the beautiful ones laugh.

Usually, when you're an actress, you have to audition 20 times.

I can't get the serious roles. People don't see me that way.

The one thing that has helped sustain my career as an actress and a comedian is that people generally view me as fundamentally stupid.

You get the older version of women that you've played before.

Some people are really nice about it. I get Saudi princes and famous people stopping me in L.A. and saying, 'You're Stifler's mom. Can I take a picture with you?' But then you get people like her putting their camera in your face without asking. They think they can do whatever they like.

There is something about a phony that creeps me out so much.

When you're on this major English estate, breathing in the English air, and it's untouched, you can feel its presence. It's a whole different feel. It really felt like we were there living it. It didn't feel modern, ever.

When I walk into a video arcade filled with 16- or 17-year-old boys, I may as well be Marilyn Monroe.

The odd things that people say to you are so much more hilarious than what you can come up with.

I'm not a prude.

I've been many people. I've been the skinny girl. I've been the fat girl. Because I've become a character actress, I sort of fell victim to 'Well, I don't have to look good anymore.'

The standup thing has been really fun, really seeing the United States instead of reading about it.

I figured New York was the closest I'd get here in America to Scotland.

I always get excited when I find out there's a sequel, because all the work is kind of done.

Hair extensions and wigs are not the same thing. Wigs are for old ladies and drag queens. Extensions are for women who want longer hair. To be safe, never bring it up if you think a woman is wearing either. No good comes of it.

No one purposefully paints a bad painting. It's someone who's trying to do a good painting, but it's terrible. I have one with a matador, and the bull is going through the blanket. You can tell the painter didn't know how to paint it.

Short of spending $10,000, there is nothing you can do to your head to hide the fact that you're going bald.

I play so many weirdos in movies that it's nice to play an attractive woman.

As a single woman, I reap the benefits of being Stifler's mom.

Younger guy are attracted to a strong quality.

Unless you write your own movies... you can't really say what you want to say.

I always date younger men. For some reason that's just the way it's gone, because younger guys have always asked me out and I accept.

Las Vegas honors women - Celine Dion, Bette Midler, Britney Spears. I love that Las Vegas celebrates women.

I do have to say, there is this incredible benefit to being older. I never thought I'd say that. I've figured out that show business isn't the end-all. I thought I'd never be tired of Hollywood, of the experience, and I have to say there's some relief. As you get older, your taste changes.

I get the gold-digger part six times weekly. I can play those women into the ground, but I don't want someone telling me that's all I can do.

I love Australia, and I especially love those rugby players.

The British boys really, really go nuts... to them, an older woman is sexy, and it's an incredible fantasy... I think the American fantasy is still about men wanting control. Maybe American men don't feel as in control of their lives.

When you're an actress, there are only a few times you can really get paid. One of them is doing a sequel. They can't fake you or hire another actor to play you.

Standup is just dirtier, a far more risque kind of thing.

When people slave over those scripts and pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for them, they don't usually want you to add farts.

I always find the most depressing stuff most interesting.

I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove.

I wanted to be a dramatic actress. Life doesn't go the way you think it's going to go.

Cate Blanchett and others, they get this broad range of all these cool people they can play. Some women really do get it all. For me, it is the same thing that happens over and over. I should change that and maybe write my own thing.

A lot of those good-looking girl parts aren't very fun.

I was like a waitress that got a job once in a while, and then Stifler's mom happened, and everything changed.

I always feel in movies, I don't know if it's because I'm jaded, but I always feel like we don't go far enough.

I'm kind of harsher than most people.

I was thinking, 'If I go bald, I might do something like Bret Michaels and have it all attached to a handkerchief.'

I am allergic to a certain kind of glue. Most eyelash glues are terrible, the glue in acrylic nails. I get a rash up my arm and face.

To be honest, sometimes I'm horrified because you don't really know what you look like. If I really knew what I was doing on-screen, I would try to stop doing it.