You're a nonconformist.

Surrounded by madness, surrounded by hunger, surrounded by everything but death, I knew death was our only way out.

Don't start an argument with somebody who has a microphone when you don't. They'll make you look like chopped liver.

The ability to dream is all I have to give. That is my responsibility; that is my burden. And even I grow tired.

Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself.

They minute people fall in love they become liars.

I was the green monkey, the pariah. And I had no friends. Not just a few friends, or one good friend, or grudging acceptance by other misfits and outcasts. I was alone. All stinking alone, without even an imaginary playmate.

You show me someone who'll eat lima beans without being at gunpoint, I'll show you a pervert!

K is for "Kenghis Khan"; He was a very nice person. History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.

If one is unable to buy Courvoisier, one should forcibly restrain oneself from serving strawberries Romanoff for dessert.

I have no mouth, and I must scream.

Who wants a library full of books you've already read?

When I leave here, will this shop vanish the way they do in the stories? I’m afraid so, yes. Why do they always do that? The old man sighed. You know, you’re the first one who ever asked me that.

Heaven is what you mix all the days of your life, but you call it dreams. You have one chance to buy your Heaven with all the intents and ethics of your life. That is why everyone considers Heaven such a lovely place. Because it is dreams, special dreams, in which you exist. What you have to do is live up to them.

When you're all alone out there, on the end of the typewriter, with each new story a new appraisal by the world of whether you can still get it up or not, arrogance and self-esteem and deep breathing are all you have. It often looks like egomania. I assure you it's the bold coverup of the absolutely terrified.

But commercialism is the last sinkhole of love, and when reached, by paths of desperation and paths of cruelty, misused emotions—all hope is gone. There is no return save by miracles, and there are no more miracles for the common among common men.

He was furious. He wouldn't let me bury them. It didn't matter. There was no way to dig up the deckplates. He dried up the snow. He brought the night. He roared and sent locusts. It didn't do a thing; they stayed dead. I'd had him.

Why let them order you about? Why let them tell you to hurry and scurry like ants or maggots? Take your time! Saunter a while! Enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the breeze, let life carry you at your own pace! Don't be slaves of time, it's a helluva way to die, slowly, by degrees...down with the Ticktockman!

Awesome is the word one uses for Eleanor Roosevelt, Mt. Kilimanjaro, and pitching a no-hit no-run ballgame. Not available for the crappy cheese quesadilla you had this afternoon, nor for anybody who Dances with the Stars. With or without a wooden leg.

People on the outside think there's something magical about writing...

We talked across each other, our conversation at right angles, only meeting in the intersections of silence at story's end.

To say more, is to say less.

In these days of widespread illiteracy, functional illiteracy... anything that keeps people stupid is a felony.

Of all liars, the smoothest and most convincing is memory.

There is only one real evil in the world: mediocrity.

Writing is the hardest work in the world. I have been a bricklayer and a truck driver, and I tell you – as if you haven't been told a million times already – that writing is harder. Lonelier. And nobler and more enriching.

DIscuss "narking" as a character flaw.

If there was a sweet Jesus and if there was a God, the God was AM.

I never met a man I didn't like. I don't go out much.

Now what good would that have done? They wouldn't know they'd asked a dumb question, but I didn't want to insult them, either. So when they'd ask if I'd read all those books, I'd say, 'Hell, no. Who wants a library full of books you've already read?

He withdrew, murmuring to hell with you. And added, brightly, but then you're there, aren't you. The.

Writing a novel is like going a great distance to take a small shit.

Or, as Goethe summed it: Know thyself? If I knew myself, I'd run away.

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

You must never be afraid to go there.

The minute people fall in love, they become liars. You'd.

Possibly the only dismaying aspect of excellence is that it makes living in a world of mediocrity an ongoing prospect of living hell.

The city lay cool and dim beneath a vaulting sky of high-scudding gray clouds. A gray shroud that covered the corpses of buildings, stiff in brick-and-steel rigor mortis, pale in their eternity of sooty death.

When belief in a god dies, the god dies.

Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.

I hate when a director says to me 'Here's how I envision this scene'...excuse me? It's right here in the script - I 'envisioned' it FOR you. Do what I wrote. If you want to 'envision', you should become a writer. Where the fuck were you when the page was blank?

When I was eighteen I decided I wanted to be a writer. I attended Ohio State University, and after discovering writing is a thing of the genes, not the schoolrooms, I left college to attempt a professional career behind the typewriter.

In my ugly, elitist opinion we are not all entitled to voice our opinions, we are entitled to pass along our informed opinions.

Get a day job, make your money from that, and write to please yourself.

If you put your hand in my pocket, you'll drag back six inches of bloody stump.

I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid.

I now believe that television itself, the medium of sitting in front of a magic box that pulses images at us endlessly, the act of watching TV, per se, is mind crushing. It is soul deadening, dehumanizing, soporific in a poisonous way, ultimately brutalizing. It is, simply put so you cannot mistake my meaning, a bad thing.

Ellison's Theorem: the further right your position, the less telling your satire. A corollary of which is that you can't lampoon anywhere near where you stand, because you'd annihilate your own troops.

The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles.